PASSION SIZZLES IN THE RIGHT ROOM WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE

REFRAME MASTERCLASS PASSION

Passion comes alive when it is in the right room with the right people. It sizzles!

And last week, that’s exactly what happened to me at the REFRAME MasterClass.

I am that guy who is fascinated with the possibilities of what people can become if they know how good they really are today. I am deeply passionate in helping them find it!

REFRAME MASTERCLASS PASSION STRENGTHS ROLE

And last week, I spent 2 days with 17 people in the same room doing it.

AND WE WERE ON FIRE!

That’s what happen to your passion when you use it on the right people in the right room. Otherwise, it gets doused off and extinguished really quickly.

Why?

Because what you are most passionate about could be something that others are most dispassionate about.

So go figure.

It is not so difficult to see why sometimes our passion falls flat with the people around us. And that discourages us. And getting discouraged often enough, you eventually give up on what you thought could be your passion.

When you feel that no one cares about or believe in or feel for or not understand your passion, it may not mean you are wrong about your passion. But it may mean that you need to figure out what is right FOR your passion.

REFRAME MASTERCLASS PASSION

Passion sometimes die not because we did nothing. It dies because we did not do the things that are right FOR them.


Imagine an imaginary Dr Kutdeep who is deeply passionate about surgery. Every patient he sees, anywhere he sees them, he drags them to the surgery room and operate on them. His motto is “Always Operate, No Matter What“. How long do you think he will hang on to his licence?

Not very long.

It is easy for us to make sense on the things that we are most passionate about. We ask ourselves, “What is so hard for others to understand my passion?” What is so hard to understand developing the potential of others, feeding the poor, becoming an amazing singer … If we can feel it so strongly, surely they can. So we ram our passions into everyone we meet and anywhere we meet them. Just like Dr Kutdeep, “Always Operate, No Matter What“.

And I was exactly like this before. “Always Operate, No Matter What“.

It didn’t matter who I was with or where I was, I would always try and find an opening to share my passion. It used to be always about me, what I want to say and never about them. The moment I see an opening, WHAM! They would be in my line of fire and there is no escape.

And the aftermath? Some people do get interested. But most lose their interests 15 seconds into my assault. I see their eyes glazing over, getting distracted and literally going from “hello!” to “oh.”

My passion can make me pushy, insensitive to others and sometimes, irrational. And I need to realize when I become that “Dr Kutdeep”. It is not “Always Operate, No Matter What“. If I really want my passion to come alive and sizzle with people, I have to learn how to operate when and where needed.

REFRAME MASTERCLASS PASSION

I need to be in the right room with the right people. In other words, work with people who wants to work with me and serve those that wants to be served by me.

And here are 3 simple ideas I have been using to be in the right room with the right people …

1. See People Through Your Passion

Your passion enables you to see the people you want to impact. It should not blind you from seeing them.

If you are standing on stage with your passion shining down on you, it is not so much about you standing there than it is more about the people who came. Your passion shows you who your audience is and it draws them in.

So look out for them! Don’t be full of yourself.

Passion is focused on serving others. Without people, it is just in an empty room of huff and puff!

2. See People In Your Passion

Your passion comes alive when others come alive because of it.

Your passion will not materialise unless you know how to make it useful for others. It is not just about you. It is more about others.

Who would most benefit from your passion? What do you know of them, their needs, their challenges, their dreams, their yearnings, their struggles? How can you help them? Are you able to positively impact them? Do yo have the skills? Not everyone will be excited about what you do. And not everyone can be served by you. Learn who your right audience is and identify the the right people for your passion.

So take time to find out, listen and prepare. Then when the time is right, they might just listen to you.

3. See People With Your Passion

Your passion when done right will draw the right people to be with you.

Why?

Because people wants to be a part of something bigger than themselves. They want to be useful to people around them and in doing so, find their own purpose in life.

You can actually help them to achieve that. And when that happens, your own passion truly comes alive!

So help people see how they can be a part of your passion, what they can do with you, and how they can be in the same room with you. And if you don’t know how, just ask them! 🙂

Be In The Right Room With The Right People

Being in the wrong room with the wrong people drains me completely.

And since I have been practicing these 3 simple ideas to be in the right room with the right people, my situation has changed entirely. I am more energized, more confident and more capable in using my passion.

Truth is, I am still learning how to get better at it.

It is still a struggle from time to time in putting people in front of my passsion and not the other way round. That it is not just about me. It is definitely more about them.

People is the real reason why our passions come into being. It is about them through us. Without people, passion is hollow. And we would just be in an empty room all alone by ourselves.

So if you want your passion to be really useful to people, and if you don’t want to prematurely give up on what you think your passion is, then don’t become Dr Kutdeep’s motto “Alway Operate, No Matter What.”

REFRAME MASTERCLASS PASSION

Be smart and do the right things for your passion.


Give yourself a break and find ways to be in the right room with the right people.

Then step back and watch your passion sizzle and come alive!

GETTING READY FOR REFRAME MASTERCLASS

This week, I am ploughing all my energy into prepping and getting ready for the REFRAME MasterClass that is happening this coming Fri and Saturday.

I am so excited to be working with 17 individuals from Singapore, China, Hong Kong and Taipei over the 2 days on how to be happier and more successful in their lives, work and relationships.

REFRAME is into its 3rd run and every time when it happens, it is a realization of a vision caught, tested and “wow” it is happening!

These last few weeks have been crazy in terms of time. So for this week, it will just be this really short post.

I made the poster above. It is a pet topic of mine and a passionate quest for me personally.

Status Quo.

Chill yes.

But don’t stay too long.

Status quo can be the enemy to the best things in your life.

Alright! Will talk more soon!

Have a great amazing week!

WHY YOU SHOULD STOP CARING WHAT OTHERS THINK

When you stop caring less what others think, you start caring more what you think. I am not asking you to ignore others. I am asking you to ignore yourself less.

People’s thinking affect us. And sometimes they stop us from doing things that could be the best things for our life.

Tsukoyomi Coffee

I am in Shibuya right now. And I have been waiting 15 minutes for my seat in Tsukoyomi Coffee. It is a third wave coffee joint in one of the most expensive real estate in the world. And the crazy thing about this place?

It is a 6-seater.

Yep! You heard me right. This entire coffee place seats only 6 people. The seats face a beautiful fish tank. They provide charging points for your phones. AND it is a hidden hideout and just 1 minute’s walk away from the busiest Shibuya crossing in the world.

Now why would the young man who owns this place do that?!

Passion

If he had listened to what Starbucks, Streamers, The Roastery or Blue Bottle Coffee were thinking, he might never have started this place. One is a global coffee chain and the other 3 are Japan’s most successful home grown third wave coffee chains. So these people “know” how to do business.

And Tsukoyomi Coffee is just a tiny drop. (Pardon the pun.)

SO why did he do it?

I believe this guy did it for his passion.

Well, he didn’t cared for what the bigger boys were thinking or for their army of baristas. And it didn’t stopped him from putting his place on the Shibuya map.

FOr this guy, he was caring MORE about what HE has been thinking and what HE is doing expressing his passion.

And that’s the thing about passion. It takes that little extra courage to do it. Simply because passion makes you do and try the things that fascinates you and in ways that are different from other people.

Listen To Your Passion

Now, if you have been caring about what others think and ignoring your own, this would have stopped your passion in its tracks. But if you listen a little more intently to your own passion, you might actually pick up a deep yearning that is growing ever more intensely.

So if you have been experiencing a lingering sense of passion or yearning, don’t ignore it! Don’t let what others are thinking stop you. Get up and go find out more about your passion and go try it out.

As at this point of writing, I have been here for almost 2 hours. I had 1 drip coffee, 1 latte and 1 to-die-for butter-miso-kelp toast!

I don’t know about the viability of his business. But since being here, the place has been having good turnovers. The owner seemed happy. The shop is full and there are people waiting to come in.

He came to me and asked me to give up my seat for guests that are waiting. After all, I have been here for 2 hours. Sheepishly he apologized, “so sorry. This is a small place.”

So yep, I got to go. Back onto the busy streets of Shibuya.

But before I get out of the place, let me say this once again.

Care About What You Are Thinking

Don’t stop looking or trying out your passion just because of what others think. Please don’t care so much about that. But care more for what you have been thinking and yearning all these years.

Oh one last thing. I asked the owner how long Tsukoyomi Coffee has been around. And he said …

… “4 years!”

Cool!

DON’T GET TRICKED BY THE COMFORT OF STATUS QUO

#stuck #dissatisfaction $disillusion #miserable #bored #statusquo #complacent #meaning #purpose

Status quo in your life today can trick you into a sense of being comfortable with the mediocrities in your life. And if you are dissatisfied, directionless, disillusioned, bored or even miserable with your status quo, then you really got to hear this.

It does not need to be this way.

Getting comfortable is good. But getting comfortable with recurring mediocrities, work and routines, with boredom, with sub-par relationships, with no direction or no purpose in your lives is bad!

Certain status quo is ok. But being indiscriminately and carelessly comfortable with status quo WILL ROB YOU of the best things you could have in your life. Giving that one life of yours to flop around in status quo is just not really smart.

So, why would you allow something like that to mess with the positive growth, change, development and renewal in your life?  Why is it so easy to wallow in status quo?

Well, the simple answer is that it takes effort to change things.  It is far easier and takes far less energy NOT to change things.  Even if they are bad for you.

WHY?

Why do you think people gets tooth decay? Because flossing and brushing takes effort.

Why do you think it is so hard to stay fit? Because getting out takes effort.

Why do you think relationships breakdown? Because paying attention to people you love takes effort

Why do you think people stop seeking their passion and settle for the same-same-but-I-can’t-help-it routines everyday? Because doing passion takes effort.

Why do you think people are stuck in jobs that makes them feel miserable even if they are paid ok? Because believing in and looking out for something better takes effort! It takes effort to move from a dissatisfying or meaningless job to risk finding something better.

And you don’t really have to look very far to identify people around you who are stuck in their status quo.

They are EVERYWHERE!

STUCK ON STATUS QUO

People who are overtiming and overstaying in their status quo almost seems to take stoic pride in their state.

“I have been doing this for so long, I have earned this, so why change?”

“This is so hard, better stick with something I am familiar with.”

“Better stay on the career path that my education has prepared me for … even though it sucks.”

“I am used to doing this in the usual way,  it is too hard to do it any other way.”

“I don’t believe that is for me. So no, I don’t even want to try.  Thank you.”

And one more.  This is my favorite.

“I am afraid to …”  You fill in the blanks.

You would think that the stuck-in-status-quo folks are not very successful people.  

But you are wrong!

The craziest thing is that many of them are actually quite successful, and doing reasonably well. Many are bored and directionless with their lives.  They are good in what they do but they are bored and lost in what they have been doing. And yet they stay put all these years.

Getting stuck in status quo affects everyone.

Why?

Why is staying in status quo so sweetly sticky even though it can be really bad for you?

Because being in status quo is like loving sugars and carbohydrates.

WE ARE ADDICTED TO THEM!

And addicts will do anything to stay addicted because they hopelessly crave for what is bad that makes them feel good.

And I believe the number one reason why people are addicted to status quo is because either they don’t believe they can be better OR they don’t deserve any better even if they had tried.

This toxic belief is real.  That we don’t think we can be better. That we don’t deserve better.

BUT IT IS A LIE! A TRICK! A lie and a trick that make you believe that you cannot get out even though your status quo makes you dissatisfied, disillusioned, , dispassionate, directionless and miserable.

Just like addicts. And like addicts, we know what our problems are.

We are addicted to our success (whatever it is for you), to preserving our current status we have worked so hard to achieve, to our complacencies, to our fears for change, to our low self-esteem, to being side tracked and getting lost, to our toxic beliefs …

And again just like addicts, we KNOW what is our problem but we do not know HOW to solve them.

Now, I am really passionate about helping people get this KNOW-HOW. You see how I brought those 2 words together? KNOW. HOW. Pretty cool ya? ok, that’s corny. LOL!

But seriously, I really want to help people get out of their ceaseless unsatisfying status quo and into knowing how they can passionately and productively be involved in the things they love to do and and becoming the best versions of themselves.

I have been doing this for the past cumulative 10 years through REFRAME, StrengthsAsia, the Halftime Institute and I have learnt a few things from helping others that might be useful to you.

Here are 5 of my key learnings.

ONE : START NOW

You got to start NOW!

If any of this describes your status quo today – dissatisfied, directionless, disillusioned, dispassionate, miserable, bored – then decide one thing right now. Continue OR Change?

No farmer ever harvests at the last minute.  Farmers do not wake one day and decide they are going to plant the seeds today and harvest tomorrow.  Time is required for seeds to be sowed and for fruits to be harvested.

If change is what you want, then you are no different. You will need to start planting those seeds of change today. With intentionality, frequency, and efforts over time, your desire to seek positive and uplifting change to your life will bear harvest. I promise.

So, make the effort and get started! Make that decision!

TWO : YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD

What is age? When I was 35 years old, I thought i had missed the boat. Seriously! I thought I would never be able to get out of my self dug status quo of dissatisfaction, failure and misery!

#statusquo #skill #new #learn

YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD to start some thing new and become great in them! It was only when I was in my mid 40s that I began starting catching a glimpse of what i could be deeply passionate about and what I could be great at doing.

I thought I was a late bloomer until I heard what one of my virtual mentors Peter Drucker did. Peter Drucker had written many books. But the best selling books that he had written were all after the age of 70 years old and they comprised one third of all the books he had ever written! 2/3 of his other books were just prep work for the best parts!

As long as there is breath and strength in you, yes you can!

THREE : GET A PROCESS

If you have no process for doing this, then it is very likely you have no strategy or roadmap for your life. In other words, you would have no idea where you came from and where you are going.

Stuck in status quo.

You may have all the good stuff the world can offer but just like a boat that has all the best equipment and thrills, if it has no harbour to go to, it is a prison that is no more than just a contraption that keeps you from getting wet.

A process gives you the capability to think, design and plan for the best things in your life. It doesn’t matter who you are. You need a process to get started.

From 2001, I began my life changing journey of getting unstuck. And it taught me that having a process from people that has done this before is extremely helpful if I am going to get this right.

#status #quo #reframe #meaning #purpose #halftime #reeb #buford #workshop #process #success #significance #help #coach

I started the REFRAME MasterClass precisely for this reason – to give you a process of getting unstuck from the discontent in your status quo.

And not just process alone, but also tools and a community of like-minded people to help you identify and make sense out of your life’s experiences, and be able to reframe and reinvent yourself all over again.

 

FOUR : LEARN NEW SKILLS

Learning new skills build and instil a sense of accomplishment over things you previously thought you could never do.

So when was the last time you learnt something new that you could do that surprised, excited and energised you?

When you learn new skills that can be used in things that fascinates you, this is where passion becomes reality and where you catch a glimpse of your mastery. I assure you that when this happens to you, you will grow in greater confidence. And where your confidence grows, it will grow your courage and curiosity.

And these very 2 things, courage and curiosity, will significantly increase your odds of getting unstuck and finding greater joy, engagement and meaning for your life.

FIVE : WORK WITH PEOPLE WHO WILL WORK WITH YOU

#statusquo #stuck #dissatisfaction $disillusion #miserable #bored #statusquo #complacent #meaning #purpose #grow #help #coach #group #reframe #kimpong

Go with people who has gone before you and work with people who are willing to work with you.

While you are trying to reinvent yourself, you don’t always need to reinvent the curve again. And you definitely do not need to pressure yourself on knowing all the answers.

The collective who has been in the same journey has the experience, wisdom and most importantly, the willingness to help you navigate through this life long journey and getting unstuck.

Find a group of people that is aligned to your quest and go help and hold each other accountable in exploring and trying new things.

SO LET’S MOVE ON

So there! I hope my sharing has challenged the comfort of your status quo. If it makes you uncomfortable, I will not apologise. And if that makes you ask even more questions, better still!

Don’t let the comfort of status quo trick you into inaction and complacency. Nor let it trick you into the toxic belief that you are unable to change or deserve something better.

Time to do something. Don’t get stuck. Get going.

THE WOW MOMENTS THAT TRANSFORMED MY LIFE

thank you sharon pittway for the pic

There were distinct moments in my life that literally changed and transformed my life. And every time when I experienced these moments, my response to these moments was … wow.

MY FRUIT GROWS ON OTHER PEOPLE’S TREES

BOB BUFORD

Bob Buford was the billionaire author of the book “Halftime – From success to significance” that sold more than a million copies worldwide.  At a Halftime dinner function, he and his wife Linda saw 2 empty seats at my table. And they headed straight for them, plonked himself down and sat right next to me.  

No, I am not a billionaire.  And yes, I was freaking out. And maybe, I think i may just have peed in my pants a little.  

Bob is definitely not my coffee shop type. No words came to me and nothing I wanted to say seemed important.  I was terrified and I think I looked stupid. Did I make a mistake and sat at the VIP table??!!

But all my fears and self deprecation are all much ado about nothing. Because Bob came down to my level and just talked.  He just talked to me like any other dudes or dudesses in the room. I mean he really came across sounding normal and real.  

No, I am not stone drunk on idol worship.

But it’s just the way he talked and the things he talked about that made me forget my fears that evening and listened to what he was saying.  

I once heard him said, “my fruit grows on other people’s trees”.  

That evening, I was one of those trees. He took interests in me and he was sharing with me, teaching and encouraging me.  It was definitely a moment. Wow.

That moment became a momentum of change for me to this day.  I made a decision. I decided that my fruits will grow on other people’s trees.  And with that decision, it reframed my work and made it more meaningful and impactful for me.  

And it has since given me the joy to be willing, the willingness to help, and the help to those I can best serve.


From Moments To Momentum

From moments to momentum.  I thought about this today and asked myself what were the moments in my life that have moved into momentums of positive change for me.  As I thought about this, I surprised myself in coming up with the list rather quickly.

Back when I was 12 years old, my father told me that I can try many things but I must be known for one thing that I can do very well.  That memory is etched deep in me and it still resonates. And I am doing it. Wow.

When I was a college student at the University of Michigan back in the 80s, I stayed with Paul and Genny Roney.  Paul was then the CFO for one of Domino’s Pizza sister companies.  Every time when Paul sees me, he would almost always greet me first with “Mr Lim, my man!”

It was just a greeting. But to me back then, it was a moment … there was something about Paul’s demeanor that grabbed my heart.  I had a ringside view to Paul. He was after all my boss and my landlord back then. And he is a friend.

Humility exemplifies this man.  So his greetings meant alot to me. It has shaped me to try and stay humble always … and yes, you heard me the first time … the keyword for me is “try”.  Wow.


Halftime And Me

thank you jeremy bishop for the pic

Between 2009 to 2016, I would and could never imagined that I could have done this.  That I would be a master coach and speaker for the Halftime Institute, co-led the Halftime summits in Singapore, Hong Kong, and Taipei,  coached the Halftime participants and trained the Asian Halftime Coaches.

In those 8 years, there were 4 key critical moments that set off the momentums of transformation for me.

  1. Jeff Spadafora, the head coach of the Halftime Institute, who trained me asked me one day in 2012, “Would you coach the CEO of a large insurance company in Asia?  He just attended our Halftime Summit.” Who, me, what?!
  2. Lloyd Reed, the global spokesman for the Halftime Institute gave the invitation to the team in 2012, “Come join me and lead the Halftime Summits upfront.”  
  3. Bob Durfey, Halftime Coach and previously Commanding Officer of the US Coast Guards, told me in 2010 “Be the concierge to people’s lives.”  
  4. And Dean Nielworny, CEO of the Halftime Institute asked in 2014, “Come to Dallas and teach us about strengths.”

My response to every one of these 4 key moments then was “uh … why me?” … wow.


The Moment Of Kindness

Years back, for about a year, I met with Professor Chia Kee Seng every weekday morning to just read the Bible and share our reflections.  

Back then, I was financially entangled and the truth was that it weighed very heavily on me.  Being in debt was never fun. But being unable to settle it was detrimental.

Kee Seng came to know about it and without my asking, he offered to settle my debt and told me to return him when I am able.  And if I could not pay him back, so be it.

That offer, was a huge moment for me! I experienced kindness that was epiphanically life changing. His act of compassion rebooted my life for hope and calibrated my posture with people around me.   

Be kind and give hope. Wow.

There have been so many other moments in my life that I could share here.  There were many of them that I have experienced but quickly forgotten and lost.  But there were those moments that were caught and had a momentum of change behind them.  And these moments are still transforming me and making my life extremely satisfying today.  


3 Things That Will Transform You

As I looked back, I realised there were 3 key things that I have been doing that put change behind those moments and sparked the ongoing momentums of transformation: –

  1. Courage – The courage and dare to say yes, step up, and start trying.  My yesses to Jeff, Lloyd, Durfey and Dean put me into 8 years of life changing work with the Halftime organization.  And that has given me a priceless foundation for the life changing work that I am currently doing through my own organization, StrengthsAsia.
  2. Effort – The willingness to invest my time, talents and treasures in acquiring new skills, experimenting with new platforms and learning from failures.  Transformation is not easy and without effort there can be no change. And one of the most important lessons I learnt here is to not let the comfort of status quo be the enemy of the best things in my life.  If course changing is required, then I must put in the effort and find ways to make it happen.
  3. Humility – To fail humbly, and humbly accept help from others even where my pride hurts.  This is probably the most difficult thing for me to do. I don’t like to fail because it is humiliating.  And it is hard to admit that I needed to be helped by others. And yet, without humility, I know I cannot do great things.   This is still a work in progress. The conclusion as of now is that I believe I am getting better at this.

In Conclusion … wow.

Nowadays, I think I am a little sharper in recognising my moments for transformation.  And I guess I am also a little quicker, and maybe even braver in putting some momentum of change behind them.   

It is still not easy. Never has been. Never will be. But there is something my wife says to me that always makes it easier.

“I love you” … no matter what.

And that is always a moment for me.  It never grows old or weary.

Wow.

TBN Asia Kim Pong Social Impact

The 2018 TBN Asia Conference (Transformational Business Network) just ended its run on 1-2 August in Jakarta Indonesia.  I was struck by many that came.  It didn’t matter if we were big time investors, start ups, struggling social eneterprises, people looking for purpose.  The fact that we came made a huge impact and difference to the way we see the collaborative and collective initiatives in fighting poverty together.

We cannot choose where we are born.  But we can choose how we can use our experience, hope and capital to bring to people around us.

#strengthsasia #strengthsfinder #leadership #singapore #kimpong

FINDING MEANING AND PURPOSE IN YOUR LIFE

Journey. Process. Purpose.

reframe, strengthsfinder

If you feel that your life has no meaning and purpose, then could it be that whatever you are doing up to now, they have been meaningless and frivolous?

Now, that’s harsh.  But possibly true. And I learned that from Netflix. Haha. Go ahead. Judge me.

When a man does not know what harbour he is making for, no wind is the right wind.

Stoic Philosopher, Seneca

A plant grows towards the sun and thrive.  Just as your life grows towards its meaning and abounds in purpose and hope.

If there is no sun, the plant dies.  But if there is no meaning or purpose in your life, you will not die but you are not alive either.  While you are alive, you can choose to be either fully alive or not alive at all.  But when you die, you are fully dead. You have no choice.

So for you and I to live our lives with meaning, it is a choice that we must make ourselves.  To seek meaning is choosing being fully alive.

So what is the meaning for your life? How do you find it?

I am not a Life-Finding-Meaning guru. But I am passionate about helping people find their life’s meaning and have the personal experience helping myself and others find it.

There are no easy ways or straight forward formulas. There are no “5 Steps” or “3 Proven Habits” or “Do This And You Will …”.

Why?

Because everyone of us is designed differently, and there is no one life that is quite like another.  That is where both the challenge and the joy of find life’s meaning exist.  How we find meaning in our lives is not through prescribed steps but determined by our own unique learning behaviors, perspectives, experiences and backgrounds.

Finding meaning in our lives is therefore something that we do intentionally, frequently and over time.  It is a Personal Journey, guided by a Process and focused on Purpose.


Have you read?

Do one thing and make every day a good day
I woke up crappy and ended up alive


Personal Journey

Finding meaning in your life requires time.  Lots of it.   It never really quite end because it is a personal journey that you will take throughout your lifetime.

Time is a teacher.

As a teacher, you only need to look back and let it show you what it has been teaching you – what you are good at, not so good at, what often energises you, what you have been given, what you have done with what you have been given, etc.

It is almost like archeology.

Intentional.  Frequent.  Over time.

As you look back, you will be chipping away a little bit at a time. Revealing and assembling the chronological life jigsaw puzzles. Then discovering through the years what have always fired you up, and continued to remain steadfast, defiantly alive, pulsating and smouldering.  These are clear and visible clues to your’s life’s meaning.

To be, to do, and to be fully alive.

What I Learned About Myself

In my own personal journey, I have learned a few things about myself as I looked back: –

  1. I am a maverick.  Alexander Pope an English poet, wrote in 1711 “Fools rush in where angels fear to tread”.  Perhaps in his views then, angels would always be right.  But to me, were the angels always right?  And I may be foolish occasionally, but I am no fool.  I often walk in paths less travelled, hold views less readily accepted by others and do things in ways that are deemed “different”.  While they do not make me right or popular all the time, they do constantly make me alive.  And when I am right, oh my!  It makes it all worth it!
  2. I am deeply passionate.  I know many concerns, I am sensitive to some burdens but there are only a few things that truly move me.  This has not make me more dispassionate about things outside of this small list of mine, but it has engaged me to be more deeply passionate and committed to that small list.
  3. Knowing who and what I am gave me courage to becoming what I am to be.  So when I started StrengthsAsia, I did it on a simple premise – And that is transforming people through who they already are and not who they are not.  And how’s that premise going?  As Yoda would have said, “Going very well, the premise is.  Yessss.”

Process

Having a tested process will definitely aid you in finding the meaning of your life.

This is not a mousetrap, a magic potion or a best practice.  But it is a framework, a guide or a compass if you like. It is a process that will help you collect, crunch and connect your life’s data points leading to your search for meaning and purpose.

Here are some processes that you can look into:-

  1. Halftime – Started by Bob Buford, Halftime has programs that can help you go from success to significance.
  2. Designing Your Life – Bill Burnett and Dave Evans show us how design thinking can help you create a life that is both meaningful and fulfilling
  3. The REFRAME Masterclass – Created and facilitated by Kim Pong (that’s me!), it is a 2-Day program that helps  you discover your strengths, find your passion and play your best role.  It helps you reframe the very best of who you are to a life that has greater joy, engagement and meaning.

Purpose

Finding meaning is about knowing your unique purpose.  It is your place in the world. It is almost tailor made for you and something that you could possibly do with near perfection and ease.

The purpose of a hammer is to drive in nails.  And when it does that, there is always energy and there is power.  Near perfection and with ease.  Using it to turn in screws just wouldn’t have the same experience.  And there lies the hammer’s existential meaning and its place in the world.

What do you think about, feel or do that always give you joy, energy, power and impact?   Who have you served that gave you that same joy, energy, power and impact? Your answers to these questions are clues to where your purpose lie.

So the thing about knowing your purpose is that you don’t just think purpose.  You have to do it.  You find meaning and purpose by doing.  Not think and ponder. But think a little, plan a little and do a little.

Intentionally.  Frequently.  And over time.

So What Can You Do?

Stop going through your days frivolously and without meaning.

Start your days with meaning and purpose in mind.  How? A little bit,  Intentionally.  Frequently.  And over time.

Get started on your personal journey.  And you can’t do this on your own. Find a process that can help you.

And over time, get a little clearer on your purpose.  Catch a glimpse of it. Try it. Test it. And try again. It is a journey after alll.

And then, maybe you will find your life’s meaning.

Be Stupid And Pay The Price

React or Respond

 

Don’t be stupid!  Because the price that you will pay is never worth it!

When I say stupid, I am not talking about your ability or your intelligence.  I am talking about your reactions and responses.

When some thing bad happens to you, what do you do?  When people made you angry, sad, disappointed, belittled, what do you do?  Do you react or do you respond?

This Is What Stupid Looks Like

My experience tells me that every time when something bad and lousy happens to me and I react without thinking, I almost always ended up feeling and looking stupid.   I am annoyed at myself.  I am embarrassed.  Miserable at times.  And the price is humiliation, loss of credibility, inferiority complex, unnecessary feelings of hurt, misery and the list goes on and on.

When something bad happens to you, a reaction is something you do spontaneously, instinctively, and without thinking.  Honestly, not all reactions are bad, really.  But if you are reacting every time something bad happens to you, I think you are more likely to consistently experience consequences that are not so positive.

A response, on the other hand, is something you do with thought and preparedness..  You have thought about how to engage even before the bad situation has happened.  You have made a decision on what to do and what not to do if that situation occurred again.  So far, my positive experiences in responding far outweigh my negative experiences in reactions.

React or Respond?

Say someone made you angry.  Do you react by losing your temper, blow off their top, tell them their fortunes and condemn their ancestry?  Or do you respond by finding out what made you angry?  Perhaps you missed something in the conversation?  And instead of blowing off and saying the first things that pop into your head, you are measured, prepared and ready.

Many of us are stuck in a lifetime of reactions that drive us deeper into misery and pain for both ourselves and for those around us.  If you are experiencing this, you can actually change it all around.

2 Simple Things You Can Do

All you need to do is to answer 2 simple questions: –

  1. What are the things you have reacted to that you instantly regret?
  2. If they were to happen to you again, how would you respond differently?

Get behind those 2 questions and start with one or two reactions that is still bugging you.  Why does it bugged you?  Why are you regretting your actions?  Then ask yourself or people that are close to you on ways that you can respond that would stop regret in its tracks and put the power of control back in your hands.  When you can do that, you will always do better, feel better and also look better in the eyes of others.

So what would you do when that familiar bad thing happen to you again?  React or response?  If you have not been thinking about it, it is likely you will react.  But if you are, then I think you will be proud of yourself in how you would have responded.

Don’t pay the price for stupidity.  We are all better than that! 🙂

I screwed up and did not write for 3 months

Write Something! Anything!

What can I say?  Writer’s block.  Overwhelmed.  Busy.  Distracted.  Lazy.

I have not written for a long time.  And I apologise to everyone who has been following me here.

I have broken every rule I have set for myself when I first started this blog.  Post something every week.  Anything!  A simple rule.  And yet I broke it.  For almost 3 months! OUCH!  Sorry.

So let me write something today.  Or rather.  Let me ramble.

I sat down with one of my folks in StrengthsAsia today and listened.  She called it downloading her head space.  Cute.

My team has been working really hard and it does get overwhelming for everyone.  And it is only January!  The targets are set and the chase is on.  If they don’t feel the pressure, I would be surprised!  I admit.  I myself feel anxious, pressured, overwhelmed ever since 2018 started.

My company is doing really great and it does not looked like it is slowing down any time.  Morale is high, and I would say we are all in the pressure cooker a little too soon, too early.

Where there is success, hard work is always required.  I believe in working hard.  But I never believe in working hard and at the expense of quality life for ourselves and with our loved ones.

It got me thinking.  Thinking about everyone who is overwhelmed, busy, angry, sad …  Actually, it got me musing …

Be down but not out

Be sad but not self pity

Be alone but not lonely

Be away but not absent

Be angry but not forever

Be foolish but not stupid

Be afraid but not frighten

Be busy but not consumed

Be disappointed but not give up

Be discouraged but not dejected

Be overwhelmed but not over-runned …