Be Stupid And Pay The Price

React or Respond

 

Don’t be stupid!  Because the price that you will pay is never worth it!

When I say stupid, I am not talking about your ability or your intelligence.  I am talking about your reactions and responses.

When some thing bad happens to you, what do you do?  When people made you angry, sad, disappointed, belittled, what do you do?  Do you react or do you respond?

This Is What Stupid Looks Like

My experience tells me that every time when something bad and lousy happens to me and I react without thinking, I almost always ended up feeling and looking stupid.   I am annoyed at myself.  I am embarrassed.  Miserable at times.  And the price is humiliation, loss of credibility, inferiority complex, unnecessary feelings of hurt, misery and the list goes on and on.

When something bad happens to you, a reaction is something you do spontaneously, instinctively, and without thinking.  Honestly, not all reactions are bad, really.  But if you are reacting every time something bad happens to you, I think you are more likely to consistently experience consequences that are not so positive.

A response, on the other hand, is something you do with thought and preparedness..  You have thought about how to engage even before the bad situation has happened.  You have made a decision on what to do and what not to do if that situation occurred again.  So far, my positive experiences in responding far outweigh my negative experiences in reactions.

React or Respond?

Say someone made you angry.  Do you react by losing your temper, blow off their top, tell them their fortunes and condemn their ancestry?  Or do you respond by finding out what made you angry?  Perhaps you missed something in the conversation?  And instead of blowing off and saying the first things that pop into your head, you are measured, prepared and ready.

Many of us are stuck in a lifetime of reactions that drive us deeper into misery and pain for both ourselves and for those around us.  If you are experiencing this, you can actually change it all around.

2 Simple Things You Can Do

All you need to do is to answer 2 simple questions: –

  1. What are the things you have reacted to that you instantly regret?
  2. If they were to happen to you again, how would you respond differently?

Get behind those 2 questions and start with one or two reactions that is still bugging you.  Why does it bugged you?  Why are you regretting your actions?  Then ask yourself or people that are close to you on ways that you can respond that would stop regret in its tracks and put the power of control back in your hands.  When you can do that, you will always do better, feel better and also look better in the eyes of others.

So what would you do when that familiar bad thing happen to you again?  React or response?  If you have not been thinking about it, it is likely you will react.  But if you are, then I think you will be proud of yourself in how you would have responded.

Don’t pay the price for stupidity.  We are all better than that! 🙂

I screwed up and did not write for 3 months

Write Something! Anything!

What can I say?  Writer’s block.  Overwhelmed.  Busy.  Distracted.  Lazy.

I have not written for a long time.  And I apologise to everyone who has been following me here.

I have broken every rule I have set for myself when I first started this blog.  Post something every week.  Anything!  A simple rule.  And yet I broke it.  For almost 3 months! OUCH!  Sorry.

So let me write something today.  Or rather.  Let me ramble.

I sat down with one of my folks in StrengthsAsia today and listened.  She called it downloading her head space.  Cute.

My team has been working really hard and it does get overwhelming for everyone.  And it is only January!  The targets are set and the chase is on.  If they don’t feel the pressure, I would be surprised!  I admit.  I myself feel anxious, pressured, overwhelmed ever since 2018 started.

My company is doing really great and it does not looked like it is slowing down any time.  Morale is high, and I would say we are all in the pressure cooker a little too soon, too early.

Where there is success, hard work is always required.  I believe in working hard.  But I never believe in working hard and at the expense of quality life for ourselves and with our loved ones.

It got me thinking.  Thinking about everyone who is overwhelmed, busy, angry, sad …  Actually, it got me musing …

Be down but not out

Be sad but not self pity

Be alone but not lonely

Be away but not absent

Be angry but not forever

Be foolish but not stupid

Be afraid but not frighten

Be busy but not consumed

Be disappointed but not give up

Be discouraged but not dejected

Be overwhelmed but not over-runned …