I am still disappointed!
That is me. Us. And life.
I thought I had longed resolved a disappointment I had some time ago. And when something I saw today on my social media triggered that same sense of disappointment, I realised it is still lodged in my consciousness. It is still there. And I hated it that it is still there.
Disappointment does not go away easily. It stays for a while. And sometimes, it stays for years and years. And I am beginning to wonder, does it ever really go away? I am beginning to think that disappointment is enduring.
And for what reason?
I think enduring disappointment does one of 2 things to us.
- It captures us and makes us captive to it. It makes us ever suspicious and distrusting of the people that disappointed us. So when it overstays its welcome, it becomes toxic, and creates the enduring separation, pain and over time, enduring bitterness. Or …
- It checks in with us, measures the temperature of our disappointment, and gives us a health report on how much we have changed and progressed from our disappointment.
So which is me today?
I think disappointment hangs around like an irritating buzzing fly. And I could imagine myself doing one or all of three things.
One, tell myself this is utterly depressing and there is no where else to go where there are no flies. The flies just keep coming back to me again and again. Help!
Two, explode in anger, go after it, curse it under my breath, complain against it, try to kill it, and missed. Again and again. And then, let it ruin my day. Again and again.
Or three, handle it like a pro. From experience, swat it at the precise moment and be done with it or simply, get up and walk away.
As I thought about what I saw in my social media that triggered the old disappointment, I was able to trace the journey of that disappointment.
- When the disappointing incident first happened, I definitely felt like there is nothing I can do. Why did it happened to me?
- Then there was the scenario two where I got angry whenever I am reminded of what had happened. And it did ruin my day. Again and again.
- Of late and today, it definitely felt like scenario three. I checked myself, made a mental note not to let it render me helpless or upset, learn from it and try and become the better man.
Disappointment is here to stay.
Whether it ruins me or reinvents me, I get to decide.
I can choose to blame the people that disappointed me and relive the disappointment again and again and again. As a result, I will experience mounting agony, pain and eventually, greater and deeper disappointment. And the people that had disappointed me, well, they would have moved on and not have the slightest clue to what I am going through. So where’s the fun in that?
You, disappointment, will not ruin me. You will reinvent me. I choose to learn from you, change through you and become the better me because of you.
I like what Conan O’Brien, the comedian said about disappointment.
The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.