I am terrified to get started on some things because I fear rejection. To be rejected is my number one fear. I did not have the courage to try.
Because of it, I often struggle in getting started on things that I have always wanted to do and things I should be doing.
What are you terrified of starting yourself?
As recently as last week, I have been struggling with getting started on this blog for the last 3 years. It would have greatly helped advance the cause of my passion and benefitted the thousands of people that I have served.
But courage was missing. Fear loomed.
Rejection for me could be about a look of disdain, the pain of critique, the sound of dead silence, the litany of outright NOs, the forever blame game or the shame of failure.
Many of us get stuck at the MYTH of fear:
I need to first overcome my fear so that I can get started.
It is saying, let me deal with rejection first, then I can get to the things I wanted to do. So we read books, attend courses, search the internet, go on to youtube, or follow the gurus for all kinds for self-motivation, inspiration, improvement, and training. And the result is always the same.
Yes I can! Yes I can! No I didn’t.
You cannot overcome fear first and then get started. The truth is
You need to get started first so that you can overcome fear.
I cannot overcome my fear of rejection if I haven’t seen what it is like. Mostly, I imagined them. And quite often, they don’t materialize. And from previous other experiences, I am always glad I got started.
Babies are born every day. And they don’t walk. They learn to walk. First by getting started. Then by falling. And falling again. And finally, they walk.
We were babies once. Let’s get started again.
So here are 5 things that can help you GET STARTED on things that you have always wanted to do: –
- Get Strong. Not Wrong: Knowing WHY we do things is a powerful motivator. WHAT stops us is a powerful de-motivator. And we all love to focus on what demotivates. In my case, it is rejection, real or imagined. And it delayed this blogging project for 3 years. Getting clearer on my WHY changed all that.
- Think Big. Start Small: The end goal can be daunting and may stop many of us. So, think big, but start small. Start with what you have and not what you do not have. For me, I got started on “blogging” on Linkedin with a quote. Nobody clicked “Like”. But nobody commented, “You suck!”. OK! Great start!
- Plan A Little. Do A Little: We are great planners and lousy doers. Don’t just plan, plan, plan and do. Often, we never start. If we did and fail, it can be terribly discouraging. So, plan a little, do a little. Learn and adjust. That way, you are moving forward, and if you make mistakes, they are not going to be big problems.
- Go Deep. Go Long: This is a long game. As you plan and do, find out what makes you tick and click. Go deeper. Do more. I fell in love with coaching in 2010. Since then, I became a Strengthsfinder and Halftime Master Coach and started StrengthsAsia. I am still at it. And whatever I do today, I am simply sowing in my orchard.
- Get Started!: STOP WAITING! Do something! Make something happen no matter how small it is! It is not one day I will but DAY ONE I did! For me, I finally did it! Started my blog. Launched it last week. So far, it has received more than 200 views and climbing. For a novice like me, not bad really. And I thought nobody would read!
So don’t let fear stop you from getting started on the things you have always wanted to do.
Be courageous. Try.
Or as we say it here in Singapore, “Die Die Must Try!”